Whoo-hoo!

I LOST 3 POUNDS!

After all my hard work and perseverance I finally was able to lose a few pounds! 

Okay, so maybe it was not so much hard work, but more like the stomach flu I got last week, but still yay!

I know, I know...it is only 3 pounds but it is better than nothing.  I just got to keep going, and hopefully not gain it all back.

Going through the motions...or complaining how unfair my life is.

Jason has a fitness test coming up that he has to pass, so the time set aside in the evening when I normally workout, has now been taken over by Jason. (Not fair!)  I give up drinking soda completely, and I am hating every minute of it...with no results.  Jason switches to diet soda and still drinks like a fish and losses weight?!?  (Not fair!)  While I can barley run for 15 minutes without getting out of breath, Jason all the sudden decides he wants to be a runner and jumps on the treadmill running 4 miles like it's no big deal. (Not fair!)  I am starving trying to eat my pathetic little chicken salad, while Jason is stuffing his hole with a tasty sausage hot dog and french fries...NOT FAIR!!  I swear if I hear another person ask Jason if he's lost weight, or tell him how good he looks...I will freak out! (So, not fair!)  He is such a pain in my side right now, always saying how much he supports me and wants to help out...Yet, getting junk for dinner, filing our freezer with ice cream I have to convince my self not to eat, and fighting me on every change I want to make.   Arg!

I am just not doing very well on my goals, any goals. 

It seems all I can manage to do, is what I need to do...take care of the boys, clean up after the boys, laundry (ALWAYS so much laundry), making sure the house is in order, you know the basics. I can never find the energy or time to do the extra things I want to do.  When I do find few minutes to do something extra, the entire house and family falls down around me. It is so frustrating. I just don't know how to do it.  

Motivation

I am thinking of joining a gym.  

I need more structure and accountability (which keeping this blog was supposed to give me, but I need a little more help).  It is so hard to jog on the treadmill at home, the boys are always destroying something or Jay needs me to make dinner, tons of reasons (or excuses I guess).  

I like the thought of going to different classes every evening (spin classes, yoga, Pilate's, kick boxing...so many options), and getting OUT of the house would be a HUGE plus, and maybe even getting a professional trainer to give me real tips.

$30 a month isn't that bad, and I think it will be really good for me.  A head start.

Let's all cross our fingers that I can convince Jay...

*UPDATE*  Jay said YES!  Woo-hoo!

My favorite...

My absolute favorite song to run to right now, and I can make it through the song twice (without stopping)! 

Wake Up by Arcade Fire...just a little bit of heaven to my ears.

I really need to lose some weight...

she says, as she eats Oreo cookies and sips a nice frosty one (diet Coke that is).

I am missing that thing, that key ingredient most people have and use to accomplish their goals...I think it is called stick-to-itiveness.

Needless to say, I am having a hard time staying on track for longer than a day or two at the most.  Yesterday was great, I even ralked (oh, that is my word for running and walking) on the treadmill.  But today has been a total disaster.  I don't know what keeps me from making the wise food choices I should be making.  No impulse control, maybe some emotional eating (I eat when I am bored or happy...it is a REALLY good thing I don't like to eat when I am mad or frustrated, a really good thing) or Jason always buying junk food even when I beg him not too.  Who knows...but I really need to lose some weight.