All the things I can't have.

All this week I have been pumping myself up everyday to start a new diet.  And no matter how much I say I am going to, and how much I WANT to... I just have the hardest time.  I want to do the diet, I have started the beginning phases...but I just can't commit myself all the way.  All I keep thinking about is all the things I can not have anymore.  No more soda (for 6 weeks now, you would think I would be proud of myself...but I am just sad), no more chocolate, no treats, no pasta, no shave ice....nothing interesting.  I KNOW that all the indulging I have done in the past has gotten me to this point, and I REALLY do want to change.  I want to change with all of my heart, somedays it is all I can think about.  I make all these grand plans, diets to try, exercise programs to do...and still I never commit.  I get so angry that I have to make my family dinner, or watch them eat something I enjoy, while I choke down dry chicken and spinach.  I hate when we are on a drive and we stop at 7-11, and the most exciting thing I can get is a bruised apple or banana.  It is so unfair.  I miss drinking soda, or having a little dessert after dinner.  I want to have the will power to make the right choices, to get the body and health that I REALLY want.  BUT I also don't want to feel like I am missing out on everything, and giving up everything I enjoy.  It is such a back and forth battle.  I am wishing I can find something, or someone to give me that push I need, support to just stay on track, and stay focused for the end game.