Mr. Blog, you are not helping. And, Oy the Stress.

This blog was supposed to be my helper to get healthy, and its not really helping anymore.  I just ignore it until I feel guilty, then I pay a little attention to it, then back to ignoring it. 

 The stress of the move is getting to me.  Getting to me bad.  I have no time to do anything.  Everyday I have a million things to do, and I feel like I have no time to do them.  

For the first time in years, I actually feel the need and want to work out.  Get all that stress and nervous energy out of my body.  And now I have no time to do it, unless I get up at 5 am, and well that is just not going to happen, not in a million years.  Especially when I only get like 6-7 hours of sleep a night.  

(Maybe I need to start making it happen.  Maybe, just maybe.  We will see tomorrow.)

I feel so unhealthy.  I am really trying to eat smaller portions, and healthier things.  But in reality I know I am not doing good enough, and that make me more stressed, and a little sad.

Blah. That is how I feel.  Just blah.

I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life, even when I was pregnant with my kids.

I am embarrassed to go home, for people to look me, and judge me.

Also...

My kids are driving me crazy. CRAZY.  I don't know how I am going to survive this move with them.  I swear at least 60% of my stress is from them.  Harry, and all his new issues.  Clark and he endless amounts of energy, that causes so many messes and problems.  It is exhausting.

I need this move to hurry and be over. 

I want to be settled into my new house, in our new area.

I want to get my life back, and my health back.

ps.  I am back on soda.  It has been the only way I have gotten through the stress of the last couple weeks.  But in exchange for drinking my diet soda, once a day, I gave up cookies, potato chips, most forms of candy.