April Downer

Okay, okay.  It has come to my attention that I have been being quiet the downer.  I don't mean to come across as so depressed and tragic.  I have just been trying to be more honest with myself.  I have always kept that side of myself private.  I don't like to be a burden to people, or sit and complain and complain...that is not me.  But I have learned that if I keep going on like everything is good and happy, then my life is never going to make the positive changes that I want.  

Over the past few years my life has gone through some major changes, moving too far from home, becoming a mother of two, going from a two income household to a very small one income house hold, and a husband that expends any reserve a patience I might have (seriously, if you want to find the root of most of my problems and stress it is Jason...and yet despite it all, I love him).  I welcomed all these changes, and I love them...but I did not deal with them well.  It was a little too much for me.  And I kept it all inside, trying to be the hippy happy April that I always was.  That is not working anymore.  I want to make some changes in my life, good changes, and it is gonna be a little rough and salty at first.  But just wait!  In a year when I am skinny and beautiful and more famous than Stephanie Meyer, you will be happy you made this journey with me.  All the ups and downs will be worth it, and you will know me all the better because of it.

So, to review.  I am ok, I am not going to kill myself.  I love my chubby life, despite all the ups and downs...I have been truly blessed.  But I am not who I want to be right now, I have so much more potential and I am gonna find it. 

Love ya all.