Reading and waiting.

I have been doing a lot of reading, a lot.  Weight loss sites and blogs, food recipes and blogs, running blogs...on and on.  And I have come to the conclusion that I need to pick a diet plan.  And more importantly I need to keep a daily food journal.  I need something with rules and structure, and results.  I should probably buy a scale and weigh myself too...maybe that would get my butt in gear.

I am not really doing good on my little goals right now, not good at all.  

I feel hungry all the time.  I fill myself up on salad, and veggies, getting all the food groups in...and within the next hour I am already thinking of what I can eat next.  I made a delicious batch of oatmeal cookies the other day, and even though I eat only one at a time, I eat them 20 times a day (I have grounded myself from making any cookies for a while).  So, I figure keeping a food journal will shame me into eating better.  I can't find a minute to get out of the house, or prepare a healthy meal.  I recorded like 5 hours of different exercise shows, but Clark screams anytime I turn something on that was not made by Pixar.  I even got up this morning at 5:00 am to go workout, only to find out Jay had to go in early and was leaving in 10 minutes (why he didn't tell me the night before, or while I was getting dress I will never know).  

It seems like everything is against me, road block after road block.  It makes me so angry that I can't just say...this is what I want to do, and then do it.  I always have to wait...wait for the kids to go to bed (and they never do), wait for Jason to come home, wait until we have some extra money (and we NEVER do), wait until we move...always waiting.  Waiting for something to happen, that will change things.  Even though I know I am the only one who can change things.

I need something to kick start me into gear.  Something to push me over the edge.  Cause even though I want these things, and changes....and just can't commit and start doing them.